You mean suburban housewives who don’t have to work because they married rich guys? Sorry, Paala, I don’t give a shit about your tits or your web site or your homemade granola. I have bigger things to worry about, like finding a job after I graduate so I don’t starve. Right now, that’s a hell of a lot more important to me than any of your pet causes.

 

And no, that’s not a dig at SAHMs. My sister is one, and a damn good one. She stays involved in my nieces’ lives by volunteering at their schools, reading and discussing books with them, teaching them how to eat right and take care of their bodies — you know, parenting her children rather than self-righteously dictating how other people should live their lives. How about you stop focusing so much on your boobs and MAKE TIME for your baby?

Wow. Did some unemployed, apparently unmarried childless undergrad just try to tell me that I am a bad mother? All because I care about protecting mothers who want to share nursing photos online, write a breastfeeding centric blog and attend nurse-ins? Not to mention he claims I married rich and self-righteously dictate how people live their lives. What is this jerk’s name? Why couldn’t he even stand behind his name while hurling defamatory remarks?

First things first. We all know that I didn’t marry rich, right? I’ve talked about it on here before. The recap: I quit my job following the birth of my first child after debating the potential financial repercussions of that choice for months. I was worried that we wouldn’t be able to pay the exorbitant rental prices in the Bay Area, feed ourselves and clothe our new baby, and pay our credit card and student loan bills, and forget insurance, without a dual income. But both my husband and myself felt it was infinitely more important to us to be responsible for raising our children ourselves than to own a home and drive new cars. We realized that raising another human being was going the biggest responsibility of our lives and we wanted to do it how we felt was best for us or not do it at all.

So, I quit my job and didn’t look back. We currently rent an old duplex in a some-what sketchy neighborhood in Oakland and drive a car that is 15 years old that needs some work. My husband takes his older motorcycle or public transportation to work so I can use the car with the girls and he saves on gas and toll fees. We don’t take big family vacations or have any real big expenditures besides our student loan debt. And we are barely making it. Heck, we may still be in the red each month.

I often miss the sweet paycheck that my job brought in but staying at home with the girls, seeing them reach every milestone, protecting them and guiding them ourselves is priceless.

So, SG, I am not a rich housewife.

Also, when I went to school, I had to work to pay for my rent and bills and schooling. Unless you are lucky enough to have been bequeathed a substantial amount of grants and scholarships to cover your school and living, I propose you are “rich” yourself. Or your family is.

That is wonderful that your sister gives the impression that she is a perfectly devoted mother, spending every spare moment fluttering around her children. What are her other personal outlets and passions besides reading to her children and volunteering, I wonder? Does she play sports, write in her journal, knit, or go to the gym? Would you dare call her selfish for taking care of her own mental health? I doubt it. What about work-from-home moms? Or even just regular working moms? You must surely judge the shit out of them for not raising their children 24 hours of the day.

If we’re going to compare brothers’ impressions of their sister’s mothering skills, my brother also thinks that I have my life handled, am a damn fine mother, and am raising well-rounded, healthy, intuitive children.  

I consider myself a good mother too, “despite” the time I spend blogging.

I use this blog as an outlet and it makes me feel good. I am still there for my children, one-hundred percent, helping them every step of the way when they need me. Breastfeeding takes up quite a bit of space in my head right now because I nurse my children every couple hours all day. For the last 3 years. That is no easy feat. No one can accuse a breastfeeding mother of not being dedicated to their children.

Why attack breastfeeding and lactivism?

A mother that leads a life she is proud of passes that pride and self-worth on to her children. When I look back on the time and effort I’ve spent on this blog and my breastfeeding activism, I am proud of myself. My husband is proud of me too. And my mother was proud of me too, before she passed away. I know I am making a difference in my community because other parents come to me for advice and I have been thanked for my diligence to the breastfeeding community.  My blog helps give other nursing mothers the confidence to breastfeed with pride. This supportive resource enables them to more easily reach their breastfeeding goals and hopefully, they pass this precious knowledge and confidence on to others.

All of those things mean infinity more to me than some ass-hat doling out vapid insults.

I actually feel sorry for you, SG, for the hatred and ignorance in your life. I wish you the best when it is your turn to become a parent though, for your children’s sake. I sincerely hope you support your future wife’s breastfeeding endeavors and don’t tell her to stop being involved in things that interest her, even if she feels the need to stand up for her right to breastfeed in public, be a part of support groups, or attend nurse-ins. Because she is doing it for her children.

If you do not change, just a fair warning, parenthood can be a long, lonely journey when no one wants to be your friend because you’re too judgmental. And you’d probably get served divorce papers.

I don’t care if you don’t care about my tits. My children do. I don’t care if you don’t care about my blog. I care. Also, if you ever read my blog you’d know that I have never posted about granola. But heck, maybe I should. Granola is delicious.

What do you think of that commentator? Are you proud of yourself as a parent?

Related

• Throwing Stones: Stupidest Commentator Yet - Paa.la
• Every argument against NIP debunked – Paa.la
• For a list of recent breastfeeding offenders, check out: Upcoming Nurse-ins and why they are a big deal - Paa.la
• Which parenting behavior is more offensive? - Paa.la