I have to share the most moronic comment I’ve received on this blog to date. It is so deficient of sense that it is hilarious and a little sad at the same time. It was a response to my post, Every argument against NIP debunked, but I didn’t bother posting it on there because of how hateful and incorrect the commentator was. I thought I’d share it now for a community chuckle at a troll and maybe she can learn a thing or two about breastfeeding and co-sleeping.
If you can’t see the screen shot above, here is the transcript from Amber Dalin submitted on 07/08/2012 at 10:57 am:
This was soooo wrong, its almost funny. Anuses are not considered sexual organs either, doesnt mean people should cut small holes in their underwear and shorts and give us a peek. Also, did you notice none of your pictures were taken in America? Good job, showing that maybe we should unevolve our society back to that of bush dwellers. A nurse in? Really? People are dying in war or of horrible diseases and the most usefull thing you can do is worry about breast feeding right? Really? I am a mother, guess what I did. I fed my child before I left the house. Its really easy. And when you hit the 2 hour mark, remember modesty. It is totally your decision to breast feed, but dont shove it down my throat, dont make me tell my child that you are a cow, I’m sorry, “just like a cow.” To me this is like religion, or sexual orientation, what you believe and do is fine, great even, but don’t spend all your time changing my mind and beliefs. And nursing a 2 year old? That is sickening. Once the child starts eating solid foods, enough with the breast. Why not just ween them when they are off to college? Its so cheap, and convinent! Even mother dogs, cats, and yes cows, dont take it past a year (a year in comparison to the expected age range of the animals versus humans ( I am a vet tech)). Its a modern world. It has been proven that breast milk does not fill a child for more than 2 hours, it is inferior to formula in that you have to breast feed upwards of 12 times a day, and the child then starves when you pass out and cant be woken because you’ve been awake every 2 hours feeding. And I’ll bet you all sleep with your new babies in your beds to make feeding “easier” when you are told not to by doctors, because of many different risks. Seems like you just want “easy” child rearing. If you’re that lazy, you shouldnt have had a child in the first place. Buy a puppy.
Did she really just tell me nipples are the same as anuses? That nursing women are cows? That other nationalities are bush-dwellers? That nursing a two-year old is sick? That breastfeeding and co-sleeping is LAZY and if I wanted to be lazy, I should just buy a puppy?! Wow.
This poor lady needed to eat some breakfast, google some facts, and not be so grumpy and ignorant before noon! Frankly, it isn’t that surprising that she’s this misguided and confused. There are a lot of old wives tales and prejudices out there. Misinformation runs rampant. Ads show co-sleeping compared to sleeping with a knife. Countless nursing mothers have been kicked out of so-called family friendly establishments or been asked to cover, despite being completely within their legal rights.
The recent offenders, the companies and celebrities who publicly shamed and harassed nursing mothers: Target, Legoland, Facebook, Funny or Die, Old Navy, Urban Planet, Disneyland, Macy’s, Williams-Sonoma, Walmart, Chickfila (Warrenton, Virginia), H&M, the Vancouver Sun, Citizens’ Advice Bureau at Oldham council, Old Country Buffet, McDonalds, Starbucks, YMCA,Charlotte YMCA, Pirates Cove Water Park, Delta, Crystal Bridges Museum of American Art, The Fort Rapids Indoor Water Park, Discover Gymnastics, Kim Kardashian, Sarah Palin, Kasey Kahne…and the list goes on. But guess what they did after their actions were shared with the public and made national news? Every single one apologized. But incidents keep happening.
So to Amber and all the naysayers of these topics I ask, how do you think our species has survived to this point without breastfeeding and co-sleeping?
First things first. Let’s take a look at the opening argument.
Anuses are not considered sexual organs either, doesnt mean people should cut small holes in their underwear and shorts and give us a peek.
While I agree that anuses are not sexual organs, I don’t understand the comparison between an anus and a nipple. The definition of anus: The opening at the end of the alimentary canal through which solid waste matter leaves the body. The definition of nipple: The small projection of a woman’s or girl’s breast in which the mammary ducts terminate and from which milk can be secreted.
So, last I checked, solid waste / excrement / feces and milk are the complete opposite. One used to be food. One is food. Fecal matter, if ingested or spread on cuts or in the eyes, can cause infections and disease. Milk, on the other hand, has been scientifically proven to cure infections and diseases due to the anti-microbial, natural healing properties. It can directly kill bacteria, viruses, and fungi, and it also has an anti-inflammatory effect, which helps reduce the pain, swelling, and high temperature associated with infection. Breast milk also helps prevent urinary tract infections and encourages the growth of friendly bacteria in the infant’s gut. Ok. Now that we’re clear on that, remind me to never have a meal at Amber’s house, and let’s move on.
Also, did you notice none of your pictures were taken in America? Good job, showing that maybe we should unevolve our society back to that of bush dwellers.
Besides attempting to insult all other nations by calling them “bush-dwellers,” unevolve isn’t a word. Personally, I would be hesitant to call our fair US of A evolved, compared to many other nations, depending on the criteria of which we are judging. We have a higher infant and maternal mortality rate during pregnancy, birth, and postpartum than many underdeveloped countries. We are certainly dying at a higher rate from cancer than other nations. I might point my finger at our own selves for that one, as we produce chemicals and products that we know cause cancer, even the very rubber duckies that we give to our children. How evolved is that? Sometimes just reading the news makes me want to haul my family to live in a grass hut somewhere far off, away from the mess that the “evolved” nations have caused, and raise my own goats, cows, chickens, and grow my own grains, fruits and vegetables. But the pollution we’ve created here will still reach me there. And eventually Monsanto’s GMOs will taint my food.
Oh, and the breastfeeding photos on that post are not all from third world countries if that is what you mean. Look a little closer. Regardless of where these nursing women are located, they are all beautiful, strong, and proud mothers, doing what they know is best and natural.
A nurse in? Really? People are dying in war or of horrible diseases and the most usefull thing you can do is worry about breast feeding right? Really?
Why do I think nurse-ins are worth our time when there are other travesties in the world that require attention? Because helping women nourish their babies is a big deal. Every single person dying of disease, starvation, polluted water sources, war or anything else is someones child or someones mother. If every single baby had their mother’s milk from birth through 2+ years, hundreds of thousands of lives could be saved. And everyone would be healthier to boot. In the US, if 90 percent mothers fed their babies breast milk only for the first six months of life, the lives of nearly 900 babies would be saved each year. That is a big deal. Do you understand now? No? Maybe you’ll listen to dollar signs. Billions of dollars ($13 billion a year, in fact) in unnecessary health care costs could be saved here in the US alone if we helped mothers feed their children breast milk. Think of how many billions of dollars and LIVES would be saved around the WORLD if breastfeeding was normalized. Mothers need support from their society, doctors, family, to reach their goals, not public shaming, raised eyebrows, and scorn because of our inability to handle the multifunctionality of breasts. Our culture’s over sexualization of breasts is damaging our very core by reducing the overall health of our citizens and costing lives. Accusing women feeding their children of sordid, lewd behavior hurts everyone.
I am a mother, guess what I did. I fed my child before I left the house. Its really easy. And when you hit the 2 hour mark, remember modesty. It is totally your decision to breast feed, but dont shove it down my throat, dont make me tell my child that you are a cow, I’m sorry, “just like a cow.”
What really gets me is that this commentator is supposedly a mother. A mother that thinks it is OK to shame other mothers. The only person who is in charge of when or where they are hungry is the baby. And the only definition of modesty that matters is the mother’s. And many state laws coincide with this common sense, protecting nursing mothers from indecency laws during breastfeeding, nipple exposed or not. And I wouldn’t say to your children that women are like cows, exactly, but you can make the comparison if you wish. Cows are sacred in many religions and countries.
Each mammal species makes milk unique for its offspring; the milk has properties which are most likely to ensure the survival of its species. Breastmilk is the biologically normal food for human babies. With very few exceptions, anything besides human milk will inevitably result in negative consequences for the baby. (source)
And nursing a 2 year old? That is sickening. Once the child starts eating solid foods, enough with the breast. Why not just ween them when they are off to college?
As a mother who currently nurses a 32 month old, her judgment that breastfeeding a two year old is “sickening” is offensive. But I get it. People just don’t understand. They are uneducated. The World Health Organization has a couple of things to say about that and her misinformed opinion that breastfeeding should stop when solid foods are introduced:
“Breastfeeding is an unequalled way of providing ideal food for the healthy growth and development of infants; it is also an integral part of the reproductive process with important implications for the health of mothers. Review of evidence has shown that, on a population basis, exclusive breastfeeding for 6 months is the optimal way of feeding infants. Thereafter infants should receive complementary foods with continued breastfeeding up to 2 years of age or beyond.” (WHO)
Early weaning, and by that I mean weaning before the age of 2, because of societal pressure and ignorance like Amber’s is unfortunately very common and something that needs to be improved. Many mothers, like myself, stand strong and do what we know is best for our offspring. Why should we give our babies formula or cow milk when our own is perfectly balanced, is free, and is fresh on tap?
Not to mention countless studies praise the short and long-term benefits of breastfeeding for the infant, like lowering their risks of developing all sorts of diseases and infections (such as ear and respiratory), diarrhea, from being obese. developing diabetes, and having asthma. It also helps them achieve higher IQs. The benefits for the mother include lowering her risk of developing breast cancer and heart disease, diabetes, abnormal cholesterol and blood pressure, and keeping her slimmer later in life.
What about weaning when solid food is introduced? Not necessary. Breastmilk still provides the bulk of the babies nutionional intake. And food doesn’t provide the same immunlogical benefits as milk. Telling someone to wean when a baby starts solids is as outdated as saying they should wean when the baby gets teeth, is walking, can talk, or at some time cut off like their first birthday.
See? No need to stop breastfeeding when food is introduced. And how do they suggest a mother meets her breastfeeding goals, or at least the minimum recommended 6-month breastfeeding goal? WHO suggests cutting out all use of pacifiers and bottles. Bottled formula or pumped breast milk for public outings is completely unnecessary and could actually damage a mothers supply! The same applies for night time sleeping. And I say that as a mother with two children who refused to use either. And why should they want to then they’ve got full access to my breast whenever they want or their thumb?
Oh and the natural weening age for humans isn’t usually past 7 years, not 18 years. That attempted zinger fell a little flat, Amber.
The American Academy of Family Physicians concurs, recommending that breastfeeding continue throughout the first year of life and that “breastfeeding should ideally continue beyond infancy, but this is not the cultural norm in the United States and requires ongoing support and encouragement. It has been estimated that a natural weaning age for humans is between two and seven years. Family physicians should be knowledgeable regarding the ongoing benefits to the child of extended breastfeeding, including continued immune protection, better social adjustment, and having a sustainable food source in times of emergency. The longer women breastfeed, the greater the decrease in their risk of breast cancer.” They also note that “If the child is younger than two years of age, the child is at increased risk of illness if weaned.” (AAFP 2008)
Let’s keep going!
Its a modern world. It has been proven that breast milk does not fill a child for more than 2 hours, it is inferior to formula in that you have to breast feed upwards of 12 times a day, and the child then starves when you pass out and cant be woken because you’ve been awake every 2 hours feeding.
It is essential to breastfeed on cue, day or night, to meet the nutritional and emotional demands of an infant and to properly regulate a mother’s supply. Infants will soon settle into their own schedule, without being made to follow some archaic 2, 3, or 4 hour spacing schedule, or be made to cry it out over night to sleep through the night before their ready. The mother and baby will fall into a routine that is mutually agreeable.
When she says breast milk is inferior because you have to feed the child more often, does that mean she prefers to give her child inferior imitation breast milk in an attempt to get them to sleep longer rather than get up and feed her child the exact thing they need to thrive and grow, that was made just for them? Well, who is really the lazy mother? Of course, I understand that some women are unable to breastfeed, must stop before they are ready due to extenuating circumstances, and even a very small percentage of infants are allergic to their mother’s milk, so there is donated breast milk or formula for those babies. But, to rob a child of their mother’s milk because the mother, who is perfectly capable and already breastfeeding during the day, thinks the baby will sleep better on formula? That is a crying shame.
Breastfeeding isn’t the lazy person’s method. Oh no. It can mentally and physically draining, even painful, letting a little baby take over your breasts for days, months, years on end. Women fight thrush, cracked nipples, mastitis, engorgement, over supply, under supply, pressure to stop, pressure to supplement, the list goes on. Eventually, things usually get easier and the result is priceless. Women breastfeed because it is best for the baby.
I’m sorry, but being a veterinary technician doesn’t make someone an expert on human breast milk and human babies. And if naysayers like Amber don’t want to teach their children that humans breastfeed their babies, then maybe they should just buy a puppy. But wait. Dogs nurse their young too. Shoot. Then buy a kitten. Oh wait. They do too. Mammals nurse their young. Mothers should be proud that they are able to nurse. And mothers who are no longer lactating or were unable, should be proud to explain what a breastfeeding mother is doing in public, nursing her child.
And I’ll bet you all sleep with your new babies in your beds to make feeding “easier” when you are told not to by doctors, because of many different risks. Seems like you just want “easy” child rearing. If you’re that lazy, you shouldnt have had a child in the first place. Buy a puppy.
The commentator’s attack on co-sleeping is just plain sad. Just because it is possible to physically and emotionally detach your infant from you and yourself from your infant, doesn’t mean it is necessarily a wise thing to do. Bonding is essential!
- Read: Cosleeping and Biological Imperatives:Why Human Babies Do Not and Should Not Sleep Alone by James J. McKenna Ph.D
- Read: Cosleeping &SIDS Fact Sheet – Baby Bond
Co-sleeping is the norm across the world. There are risks to all sleeping arrangements but co-sleeping with a child is also beneficial, where other arrangements are not. The baby has access to food and warmth, and feels emotionally connected, among many other benefits.
Co-sleeping just makes sense for me in my household. My infant sleeps longer and better next to me and when she needs milk a couple times or less a night, I am right there for her. Of course, whatever works best for other families, that is fine. Some babies sleep better without disturbances or parents without a baby kicking them in the face. But throwing stones needlessly at mothers who choose to breastfeed and co-sleep is pure ridiculousness.
Amber Dalin, thank you so much for reminding me that there are bigoted people out there like you, mothers even, who think women should be shamed into staying home to nurse their babies. That there are poor souls out there in this very nation that think parenting should be hard or you’re not doing it right. That breastfeeding is obscene and should be compared to defecating and urinating in public. That co-sleeping is reckless and lazy.
Oh wait. Is this you, co-sleeping with your baby? I think this is an example of the pot calling the kettle black.
Next time someone wants to attempt to publicly embarrass me by admonishing me in my own forum, I will happily crown them the New Stupidest Commentator and give them an informed scolding. And they better make sure their Facebook / myspace / google + photos private.
Nurse in public with your heads held high, mamas! Co-sleep if it works best for you and your family! Or not. I won’t judge you.
What do you think? Has anyone ever called you lazy for breastfeeding and for cosleeping? How would you react?
- The Facts of Co-sleeping - Amanda Schewaga
- Breastfeeding Past Infancy: Fact Sheet - KellyMom
- Extended Breastfeeding Fact Sheet - KellyMom
- Extended Breastfeeding (Beyond One Year) – La Leche League
- A Time to Wean - Katherine A. Dettwyler, PhD
- I don’t give a shit about your tits or your web site or your homemade granola. - Paa.la
- For a list of recent breastfeeding offenders, check out: Upcoming Nurse-ins and why they are a big deal - Paa.la
- Which parenting behavior is more offensive? - Paa.la